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Connecting with kids, what a simple task. Kids are the greatest and most unpleasant portions of my life. Wait, that was too much…unpleasant may have been too weak of a word. Connecting with our children is something that each parent is constantly striving to master. I'm often amazed at the lack of self-awareness a child carries. Take this example; Yesterday, our family is driving to pick up a pie for someone’s birthday. My wife looked at me and said, “I had a very important thing happen to me today, I need to tell you about it.” I looked at her and said…
Do you really think this is going to happen? We still have 9 minutes left in the trip; this is going to end badly. She's a fighter so she pressed on with the story. Within 14 seconds our 3-year-old blurted out, “Can you guys keep down up there! My stuffies (stuffed animals) are calling me and I need to handle it. They’re having issues back at the house”. Our 6-year-old then asked why we thought it was fair we let the 3-year-old get two song choices in a row and not her. Thanks girls, mom and I will talk tonight at 10:15 PM. I wish the hospital told us two things before we left…kids have zero self-awareness and car seats save lives but destroy marriages…good luck
Back to connecting with children. Here are five quick fun ideas I've learned to help better connect with my kiddos. I'm not perfect and these probably aren't the best ideas, however this blog cost you nothing to read, so if you want the good stuff, watch old episodes Nanny 911.
1. Put the phone down get on all fours with your child.
It's a mental game. If you physically remove your phone from your possession your mind will feel completely free. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at my phone to check an email about a coworker or a Raiders update. It was all meaningless. The phone calls and news updates will add zero value to your future. Take the opportunity to study the toys and games your child is playing with. In our family we let our children have an hour of rest time. They do not have to take a nap but they must play quietly in their rooms. Odds are, they will be coming out of their room a minimum of 17 times during that hour. Can I have some water, why do the neighbors have a red car, its endless. Regardless, you’ll have to address the situation. After you’ve taken a breath, (you’ll need to regroup from being bothered so many time) use this opportunity to see what activities they are working on. Use this as fuel for the next time you go back and play with them. Out smart the kiddos here people.
2. Find a book to read together.
My wife discovered this idea, I’m not sure if it was her idea or she read it somewhere, knowing how smart she is (scoring points here people) it was definitely her idea. My wife will take the children to the library and let them check out numerous books. She will find some older books that she knows they’ll love (Little House on the Prairie is a great example). Each night, she reads about a half a chapter before bed. With most things we do with children, we often don’t see the “Fruits of our Labor” but press on, your children will soak this up like a sponge.
3. Take the child on an adventure.
You know how your child operates. If the little one doesn't want to get dirty, hit up the library, art museum, or a history museum. Do your research. Doing research gives you an opportunity to be a “super intelligent dad” …Hey little one, you know, this Leonardo da Vinci guy was actually a painter, ninja turtle, and sculptor. If your child is the rowdy aggressive one, you’ve have endless options. Hikes, parks, tennis courts, soccer fields, basketball court, you name it. If all else fails, take em to the gym and put em on a treadmill till bedtime.
My child enjoys hikes 50 % of the time and sticking her tongue out in photos 100% of the time...did I say child or parent?
4. Bake a special treat with your child.
Easy, fun, and an inexpensive way to spend time with your child. Give your little one an opportunity to use your tablet/phone to research a dessert they would like to make. Get creative and make up a fun little drink to go along with it. Our 3-year-old loves to drink coffee, what she doesn't know is, she's drinking frothed milk mixed with creamer. It's one of the highlights of her day and she gets to sit up on the counter and feel like she’s at a coffee shop. If you really want to go all out, print out some French themed pictures and turn your kitchen into a La Deserte. Throw a couple sticks of butter, a few cups of sugar and chocolate chips together and you an extremely excited child ready to devour a special treat. Remember, don’t eat the dough, just nibble it.
5. Create something with your child.
I am not a handyman. Two quick examples. I once thought there was a fire near the water heater because I saw a flame…it was a pilot light. That was 9 years ago. 2 weeks ago I had a friend come over and install drapes in our bedroom because I didn’t know how. At least I admit my weaknesses. You know what really sucks, I have friends who build their own furniture, even their own decks. Good for you, when I was growing up, I enjoyed Time the Tool-Man Taylor for his comedy and not Al teaching you how to build things. Anyways…even though I’m not handy, my daughter told me she wanted to make an ice cream truck. We bought a few boxes of cardboard and began cutting, painting, and having the time of our lives. Take something they’re into and help create it for them.
Vaya Con Dios!