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The 900th blog written on how to deal with worry…buckle up, people. Here’s something you’ve heard before and will hear again.
The Fruits of the Spirit are, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. Galatians 5:22-23
Let’s face it, we would give anything to take worry out of our lives. Control, on the other hand, not so much. We tend to enjoy being the one in charge. We are constantly trying to get what we want, how we want. Isn’t it funny, though, how the more we try to control a situation, the more we worry about it? Why? If our plan is so fool-proof, shouldn’t we have it in the bag? I wonder what God thinks about me trying to control everything? If you haven’t guessed already, my two cents on control are simple: you can’t control the situation, but you can allow the Holy Spirit control your heart. And that’s how the fruit of the Spirit are produced within us—when we submit to God.
I’m going to attempt and share with you one thing I’ve learned about releasing control and worry to God. If you don’t like my answer or approach, “don’t worry” (see what I did there). There are 900 other blog posts, podcasts, and books to give you the answer you want.
If you’re still with me, let’s head to 2007. I was a single guy living with 5 roommates in a 2400 sq. foot house. My job required no travel, and I had weekends completely off. It was the blissful life of a 25-year-old with very little responsibility. At some level, I knew this was about to change, and for good reason. I was in a serious relationship. At this point, the relationship was moving closer to engagement, as the little diamond ring was sitting in my closet.
I rolled over in bed one lazy Sunday morning. I turned on the TV and found reruns of Mad TV, an extremely underrated show.
Although laughter is one of the greatest medicines, I felt God leading me into a deeper direction. I had already attended church the night before, so I had hit my quota for the week. I flipped the station and found the one and only, Dr. Ed Young. (At one point in high school, our family lived in Texas and attended The Megachurch of 2nd Baptist Houston, where Pastor Ed preaches). Pastor Ed was discussing the Fruit of the Spirit and how it applied in your life. His exact quote was, “Wouldn’t it be great to be married to someone who was led by The Fruits of the Spirit, to work for someone who followed these Fruits.” In that moment, God spoke to my heart. He opened my eyes to the value of these characteristics and what they truly mean. I realized that producing this fruit in my life needed to be a priority; it wasn’t just a feel-good Bible verse. I became more motivated than ever to be the best husband, employee, man, and I knew I needed God’s help to do this. I decided to write out a personalized note about each fruit of the Spirit and how I would cherish and honor my soon-to-be wife by embodying these traits.
Now, let’s fast-forward nearly 13 years. Life is very different. Not only as a married father of two do I have more responsibility, I’m unemployed and living through a pandemic. It sucks. Yes, I’m learning a lot and growing deeper with the Lord then I ever have; however, there is still frustration, and grief, and pain. Suddenly, nothing seems to be within my control. I’m realizing, though, I never was in control to begin with.
Here’s how I walk through this process of submitting to God and asking Him to lead me. When I look at how He is working within me and producing fruit in my life, I find that my worry and my desire for control are greatly diminished. I don’t have to carry my burden because I can trust that God is with me and is working within me for my good. Even when I don’t see it or the circumstances seem overwhelming, I can look at this list and find rest.
Love-how has God shown me love in other difficult times? Is there anyone I need to show love to in a specific way? (make them a dessert, give them a phone call, etc). Joy-what joy can I take out of being unemployed? What joy am I able to receive that I hadn’t while I was working? True joy does not depend on circumstances. Peace-What areas of my life have been stable? Where have I felt comfort when I felt fear? Patience-How is God producing more patience in me? Am I rushing for a quick fix, or am I able to rest in Him?
Kindness-When I’m frustrated or upset, who can I show kindness to? Who has shown kindness to me, and how can I thank that person? Goodness-Am I focusing on the goodness of God or the difficulty of my current situation? Faithfulness-What are times in my life that I have experienced God’s faithfulness? How has God been unchanging while I’ve been a wreck?
Gentleness-What soft spots in my heart has God shown me? Self-Control-After going through each Fruit, I’m have more self-control over my fears, and my anxiety has gone down immensely.
In closing, remember, this isn’t a formula to solve all of your life’s problems; this is only one example of how to help reduce worry and control while allowing God to take the lead. Would life be easier if it was Microsoft Excel and you could create a formula to control everything? Probably, but then, we would shut ourselves off from God growing us through pain and helping us find a life that silences worry and brings Him glory.
On that note, here’s a picture of our then 4-year-old at preschool Chapel, she obviously has it down.
Vaya Con Dios