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  • Writer's picturePeter Oakman

Quiet Heros

As I age fatly, I enjoy looking back and remembering people who quietly impacted my life. I call these people “Quiet Hero’s”. Quiet, because at the time I didn’t realize the positive impact they would hold. As I’ve so elegantly pointed out before, I am an above average Adult Roller Hockey player. Growing up in Stafford County Virginia, hockey was a dull sport. Our town had no rinks, no hockey stores, nothing. My friends and I were determined to play at all cost. For us, a typical hockey stick was a tennis racquet turned upside down and a dog chewed tennis ball for a puck. My parents were no help either. When I would ask them for hockey equipment the typical answer (in which I use now) was Christmas is around the corner. That Christmas I received a schwin bike and a pair of tennis shoes. My mom reminded me that the tennis shoes could be used for playing tennis. Thank you, mom.


Let’s go to 1995. Riding on the bus a friend told me about a new hockey league that was coming to Staffoord. I berated my parents for days until my father brought me to the rink to sign up. The rink was first class; it was an abandoned gymnasium attached to a Church. The rink had no locker rooms, no benches, no bleachers, just a concrete floor with some duct tape for hockey lines and a flip card scoreboard…it was a beauty, Clark.



After my first game, John Henry (one of the founders of the league) introduced himself to my father and I. He thanked us for being a part of this. John shared that his true passion was kids and hockey. "Seeing these kids out here brings me so much joy". After each game, John would pull me aside and offer advice (usually the same thing each week) "You don’t have to shoot it every time Pete". One week he challenged me to setup some cones and work on fundamentals. I typically don’t listen to people older than me (true today), but John was a different, he was a hockey guy. I took his advice and entered my home dojo (our basement that had a piece of pepperoni stuck to the wall and a weight rack set from 1985). I setup an obstacle course and began my training. Night after night I worked to improve my skills. It was at this point, my parents noticed my dedication and switched the order form from tennis shorts to CCM Prom Tacks (greatest skates ever); they knew that one day, I’d be an Adult Beer League Hockey All-Star.


7th Grade arrived and hockey in Stafford County was still considered the Red Headed Step Child. Somehow John was able to garner enough support and formed the first High School Hockey League. A few times he invited me to practice with the High School squad “Pete, your better than half these guys-you have permission to shoot each time”. When practice was over, he told me “Remember this, you’ve got a young crop coming behind you. Invest in them, teach them.” The more I played the more I noticed John’s goal. He wanted to bring people Joy.


One evening during my freshman year of high school, the home telephone rang, it was John. He was calling to chat. During the conversation, he said, “Remember when you first started? Look at how much you've grown! You gotta help the younger crop that's coming in". I gave him a quick you got it and then hung up. I rushed off the phone as I wanted to return another friend’s phone call. I felt guilty about how quickly I hung up on John but new I would talk with him soon.


3 Days later I received another phone call. John Henry had passed away from a heart attack. I remember going to the funeral and not realizing the impact this man had on my life. John was full of kindness and loved each kid that walked through the door of that abandoned gym. Why is it that we wait until someone is no longer with us until we truly appreciate who they are or the impact they have? John was just a fan of hockey, that turned into a mentor, guide, and friend to so many kids. He didn’t owe us anything, his goal was to bring joy to kids through hockey.


I end with this, from the exterior John’s motive was not wealth and fame it was children and sports. What kind of legacy can you leave for your family, friends, or your community. To be super cliché, how can you become a Quiet Hero? It is never too late to thank a former Quiet Hero in your life.


Vaya con dios

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